It was May 23rd and I'd fallen asleep, ignoring notifications chiming in from half a dozen apps until I couldn't ignore them anymore. My eyes were still adjusting to the phone's light when I began scrolling, and I assumed an *executive order* was just signed banning Bitcoin. The price action certainly reflected it. My portfolio had lost a staggering amount, and my girlfriend was calling:
"What's going on?" she frantically said, "It won't stop falling!"
I didn't say anything because I was too busy looking for the catalyst. But all I found was China FUD certain I'd missed something.
"Hello!" she screamed.
"I'll call you back in five minutes." I needed to buy the dip.
I hung up and stared into the wall. The radio silence of friends was telling. Clearly they were already steps ahead of me. I'd actually practiced and prepared for this very emergency. As an OG, I do keep funds on a CEX (CoinBase in this case) all in USDC stablecoins ready for marching orders as circumstances demand. I never use CoinBase by the way, except for idling these interest-earning stablecoin troops for deployment. The battle wouldn't last long though, and I was having trouble using my phone with such shaky hands. Already four different apps were notifying me Bitcoin was bleeding at $30k, and its bellwether brother Ether had been cut-down below $2k. A massacre of bloody red ink. This is where my combat training paid-off. The buy and liquidation list went as follows:
- ZED.RUN Horses
- Polygon (MATIC)
- All small options positions
This was going to take time. Probably 45 minutes or so, ultimately costing $1k in gas fees. Didn't matter, the Chinese had reached our shores and were about to kick down my damn door. My girlfriend tried calling again so I blocked her, temporarily—there was no time to waste.
My laptop showed 80% when I tore it from its wall-charger, clicking the MetaMask icon while walking to the adjacent living r...