Breaking: Crypto Report Roundup News Update NOW!

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Breaking: Crypto Report Roundup News Update NOW!

Lots of stuff went down in crypto and here’s just some of it…. Or did it?

SEC Chair Gary Gensler is a Bitcoin Maxi SEC Chairman Gensler playing Rock,Paper Scissors

In a recent email unearthed by Crypto Twitter Troll, Degen, and Anon “DeeODoubleGee” could it be that SEC Chair Gensler is secretly a Bitcoin Maxi?

The Crypto Deepthroat goes so far as to say THIS is in fact WHY Gensler has been taking SO long in approving a Spot ETF. In the email obtained by the whistle blower, well, ok we don’t know if it was in fact a whistle… Could have been a kazoo, maybe even a slide whistle for all we know but THAT is not important.

The Crypto insider thought he was getting away obtaining the provocative information but failed to recognize the security system due to the fact they had in fact been #WFH for so long they forgot it was there.

Michael Saylor’s 4 BTC 4th of July Party

The rumors are swirling, and we are starting them, that it was one for the ages! Michael Saylor’s 4th Of July Bitcoin Blowout Yacht Party will go down in history as the Toxic Maxi Yacht Club. #TMYC

It was a “who’s who” of Bitcoin OG’s, influencers, CEO’s and even a random clout seeking peasant repping the plebs made it on board. They were someone’s cousin and they drove them there so…

One piece of bad news to report from the event. It seems Zach Prince from BlockFi was onboard and lost the wallet that they used to keep all the Bitcoins. Now the story is they don’t want word getting out and to SBF because that would really NOT be good.

My source tells me that a FULL recovery effort is underway NOW, secretly funded by Mark Yusko and Morgan Creek.

Charts, Graphs, and Other Colorful Things To Look At

You know and I know it wouldn’t be a “crypto report roundup news update now” if we didn’t do something with pretty charts to make us look really smart and fancy like.

Not really sure what that chart says but pretty sure, it’s not good. Down and to the left. Only time down and to the left is good is when your pitching a 95 mile an hour fast ball. Then, maybe, down and to the left is good. Other than that, not too sure about it.

Let’s get back to charts and graphs, not pictures of my Nephew in last weeks Little League game where the poor kid got lit up like the 4th of July.

Now, in this chart there is LOTS to unpack. First we see lots of pink bars. That’s a good thing. Globally, this would indicate to me, a trained professional, that the T-Mobil blockchain token is really going to moon in the next Bull Run. So you might wanna load up now on the T-Mobil token when it launches. #DYOR #NFA

Here in this chart we have lots to be excited about. That is if you are “bullish” and “long” as they say on Yellow. As you can see Yellow has really performed well over the last, while or so. Is NOW the time for you to get into Yellow?

Take your time and and be sure. We are sure about this. Chris Martin has certainly been a fan of Yellow for a long time.

That’s today’s Breaking: Crypto Report Roundup News Update NOW!

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“Don’t look for the needle in the haystack. Just buy the haystack and light it on fire. Find that sum’bitch and poor yourself a drink on a job well done” — Uncle Randy